Awake.

As if I didn't already experience every emotion possible today, God tops it off right as I tuck myself into bed. As I close my eyes, the loud stomping and shuffling of furniture from my neighbors upstairs woke me up. As the volumes of their yelling amplified, their anger and hatred seeps through the thin ceiling literally waking me up, and moving me to write to just pour everything out. Now I lay awake -- awake in more ways than one.

Just before this, my mind has been spinning in confusion, unsure of what to feel with regards to the recent tragedy of the young girl who was bullied to her death. I have been juggling emotions all day -- anger, sadness, confusion, hope, despair. The culture of death, once more, makes itself evident in this loss. Why do these things happen? Why do we let it happen? Why would she ever think that it's okay for this to happen? What makes her death morally repugnant, but the death of a child in the womb acceptable, an option, legal? While this is one story we know of, who knows if she's the only one? How many others are there so lost in the darkness of hatred that we don't know about?

What about those who bullied her? They, too, are victims of hate. They, too, are slowly killing themselves. I can't help but mourn for them, too. I can't help but feel so much sadness and at the same time, so much desire to let every being know that they are loved.

The problem is not that there are bullies, or that bad things happen in life, but that we no longer believe in the good things that allow us to keep hoping and believing that life does indeed get better. We know it does, but we just can't seem to find the right translation of such truth in action.

The problem is, as I honestly see it, is that love is not being loved above all things. While love is an innate feeling, innate necessity, we are no longer capable of recognizing it because we do too much in our lives that rid us of such things: anger, hatred, fear, pride, complacency, hedonistic lifestyles -- everything else but love! We place pleasure above sacrifices thus no longer knowing the value of endurance and perseverance -- of love... because love endures all things! We place fear above courage and faith, not realizing that it is faith that we need in order to face a future unknown with a positive direction, with a hopeful mindset that things do just have a way of getting better. We place convenience above what's necessary -- when it is easier to hate, we disregard the importance of loving. We place ourselves above everyone else without knowing it. The problem is we do these things, with perhaps the greatest intentions in our hearts, but without knowing it, we are actually destroying one another.

Know now. Act now. Then, we can change the world.

I don't care anymore if anyone thinks that it's not my responsibility, not my fault, not my duty to do something about it because it was that person's choice, that person's life. I don't care anymore if anyone thinks that's so narrow-minded of me, that that's so selfish of me to not see things from their perspective. This is exactly why things like this happen so ordinarily! This is why killing of another, killing of oneself has become so ordinary, has become such an accessible option. It's because we care too much about the wrong things not realizing the consequences of not being accountable for your neighbor, for the stranger you encounter every day. We've lost sense of what it means to love our neighbors, to be there for them. We've lost sense that loving is about our choice of giving. We do it regardless of the other person's reaction. We do it because it is right and just. We do it because it is what we were made to do. We do it, period.

When we become unable to give love because we are more concerned whether or not it will be received well or not, we are then unable to recognize, and, thus, accept love when it's given to us. We wouldn't know what love was even if it looked us in the eye. We would never want it if we don't realize our need for it. We need it. Learn how to accept it from others because love in its fullness is what will make sense out of the emptiness we feel, it will heal the wounds of hatred, it will strengthen the persecuted, it will fulfill promises of a future filled with hope. Love is the answer you can put your faith in. Love is always your calling. Recognize what it is, accept it, then give it.

Someone will always somehow be opposing your beliefs, someone will always be making you question. Pray for the strength and guidance to love selflessly. This is your calling, the life you will devote yourself to living. Do it boldly. It is always time to love. There is always a need for it. Dig deeper. Discover. Fall in love. Rise in love. Love.

1 John 4:7-8, "Beloved, let us love one another, because love is of God; everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God. Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love
"There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love." 1 Jn 4:18

This is for Eira. This is for my angry neighbor. This is for the bullies. This is for you and me. May our lives today reflect the bright future life holds ahead of us, and not the shadows of yesterday. May our lives be lived to the fullest, with more hope, with more faith, with more love so that the death of beautiful souls like Eira's may not be in vain. So that the death of Christ may not be in vain. This is for the victims, the criminals, the martyrs, and the persecutors because somehow we all have been one, are one, were one. It's not about who we were, what we've become, but rather what greatness, what hope has in store for us.

Be perfect in love. If you have love for anyone else on this planet. If you have love for life -- be perfect in love.