My Pursuit of His Happiness

Hi, Arizona!

Arizona proved to be driest state I have possibly ever been to, and my now-sensitive skin can attest to that. Nevertheless, the cacti-filled landscape kept us entertained during our 7-hour drive and really painted a picture for me as to what spiritual dryness might look like. No sarcasm on the "entertained" part by the way; it really was amusing to see the different formations of those prickly things.)

Anyone with a spirit might be able to know what experiencing an internal desert can feel like especially when they've seen a greener and more humid environment. I think that's why the further we get on our path of spiritual fulfillment and nourishment, the harsher these deserts seem to get.

Though Arizona might be the driest state I've ever been to, the CFC-FFL community there proved to be an oasis full of potential for a strong generation of young leaders and missionaries. They were small, but mighty... and to me, it was most humbling to witness them in their service.

Serving the youth of their community brought me back to the many first times I fell in love with God's people (falling in love happens quite often and it always feels like the first time, haha!) Being with them really brought me back to the heart of why I was there in the first place. Why I stayed. It's the same reason I started out with when I first got to taste true joy, true peace, and the lasting kind of love. I might have been thirteen, angsty, and naive -- but as Common says himself, it doesn't take a whole day to recognize sunshine.

Arizona YFL!

Most of my youth (the earlier part of my youth at least) was spent doing meetings and retreat/event planning for the YFL ministry back home in Dallas. Seems typical enough, maybe... but I always thought that I missed out on so much while I was younger because of all the time I devoted to all things ministry related. In retrospect, however, I see now that there's a time for everything. If I didn't experience something then, I'm experiencing it now. God truly knows the desires of our hearts and he has our best interest mind. So he takes care of the hearts that place themselves in His loving hands. Promise. In the grand scheme of things, I've come to know that the deepest longings of my heart are nothing compared to what the King of Kings dreams of for his princess (aka me, haha.) Literally, everything that I have ever dreamt of, in one way or another, has come true! 

Many sacrifices had to be made then, and many still have to be made now. Regardless of the path that a person is on, sacrifice seems to be the key ingredient to make life worth living... or at least what has made my life worth living. St. Therese put it best: "Love consumes us only in the measure of our self-surrender." However, it isn't the losing part that makes life life. I don't think God designed for us to lose. If anything, it seems that he asks that we be willing to lose everything in this life only to gain all that He is for eternity. What is promised is the love that our sacrifices manifest to make our souls feel their worth. That's why, just as it is worthy of focusing on the significance of sacrifice, it's also very important that we take the time to reflect on the love that consumes us. 

Whenever we find ourselves doing what we love or doing things for people we love, there's so much temptation to place more emphasis and time spent on thinking about what we have to give up. Even just a moment spent in the desert can be overwhelming. But, if only we knew that even in the midst of spiritual dryness, God remains real & present. We don't often realize the view along the, for lack of a cheesier term, highway of love. The road may be bumpy and dry at times, but if we look around, the view is always breathtaking. Always. Just as this week of Advent calls us to be in our waiting for our King's homecoming -- Rejoice always. Under all circumstances, give thanks. I mean, how could you not? 

The breathtaking part.

San Marcos, CA at Double Peak - I. love. trees.

En route to Las Vegas, NV -- I. know!!!

Oceanside, CA - Sacred simplicity.

 

But believe it or not, the getting-to-see-places part is not the greatest "perk" of this pursuit -- of this path. No matter what landscape I'll end up passing through while being on the road, the greatest view will always be the people I encounter.

The constant wonder & awe comes from continuously being surprised by how despite the differences I find in each area's culture, ways of relating and of expressing the faith, one thing remains the same: Everyone's stories and presence affirm that God loves us and He has a crazy dream for all of us, which I am discovering to be worth the pursuit more and more each day.

What good is a nice view without someone to share it with, right? We were made for others and others for us. And by the end of all of our lives, when this trip of life is over, God will ask if we lived our lives with joy and if we brought joy to the ones who were especially difficult to love in life.

A priest once put my life into perspective for me. He asked me during confession to think about the kind of person I want to be and what I was willing to do to be that person. Since then, I've wanted to direct my ways that would lead me to be that person. Today, I've come to learn that same path is this very pursuit of God's will, of His joy, & of my peace.

Next stop: Home for Christmas!!!

+JMJ+